Choose!!

I write again... (Lage nganggur se... Jadi kepikiran yang aneh2...) wkwkwk.. After several notes that I wrote previously, got no more other notes to show... ^^ Now, since I dont have anything to do, I think about many things lately. Thinking about my life, thinking about my dream, my lover, my friendship, and other stuffs make me have something to pure on the laptop again... I am not so sure that this time, the writing will be as beautiful as previous. However, these scrambled thoughts of mine need to be brought out from my brain.... if not, I will go crazy... (wes mulai ngomong2 dhewe....ga jelas pokok e >.<) ^^

So, here we go....

Recently, due to my "nothing-to-do-days", I go back to my old habit, which is watching Korean dramas. Not necessarily Korean, sometimes I also watch Chinese, Taiwan, Japanese or sometimes I even watch India... (kadang apik lhoo... wkwkwkw.... contoh ya: Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham... uapiiiik puol!!! XD). My favorite kind of movies and serials are those with complicated story lines. I don't like the simple one... Sometimes people say I am weird. Life is so complicated already, why should I make my life more complicated by watching complicated movies or serials? I have no reason why.... I cant answer that particular reason... I just like to watch what I like to watch. Dont need any reason (Yeah... Aku diktator...>.<).

Recently, I watch a Korean serials names "Take Care of the Lady" (Played by Yoon Eun Hae, cewek yang maen di Princess Hours dan Coffee Prince^^). The story inspires me to an endless question. Me, myself cannot answer that particular question. Not just because I havenot had the experience of having such situation, but even if I imagine myself being in that situation, I might not be able to figure it out myself. Now, this question goes to every single lady who read about this note. "What if you got stuck in a situation where you love Man A (but he don't love u back), but you still got Man B who loves you till the end of the world?" (Haiyaaaaaaaaa.... Chia... moso ga ngerti jawabannya?? Ya buka lah hati kamu buat Man B!!!) Ya I know..... Diplomatic answer is that... open your heart for Man B. Yeah... it looks as easy as it sounds... But do you really think that you would be able to let your heart go and open a new heart for man B? Are you really sure that Man A will not bother your life no more? Are u really sure that you won't be the first one to jump to your car when you receive Man A's phone call asking for help?

It would be alot easier if Man A has already got himself a wife or girlfriend (biasa e lek mek pacar nggak menjamin^^). Then you will have two boundaries that prevent you from keep thinking about him. But Hey!!!! Nothing in this world is as simple as that! So, let me make this more complicated.... (Yeah... I feel the SWT look). How about three of you are free-single-open-popular person? You, Man A you love, and Man B who loves you are all free and single.... He heyy!!!! I love Man A, but he dont love me back... Behind me, I still have Man B who always gets my back when I am in trouble, cause he loves me like rabbit likes carrot... (perumpamaan e ga tepak ya? ^^ XD). Literally, as the love doctor, i would say "DECIDE!!!". Decide which one will you chase after... and decide which one will you let go. Once you decide, then everything will be as clear as the clear blue sky... hais... once more... will it be that easy to decide?

Girls, woman, perempuan, wanita, cewek, nv ren, or whatever you want to call Kaum HAWA needs high security system. As a girl, I love to be secure... I love it when I know that one man is there for me... doing everything for me... blocking every trouble I could find..... having all his attention only to me..... and all that loving me for me kind of man. It feels like heaven when a man loves me. But it truly feels like hell when I love someone else. Stuck in that kind of situation, girls usually can't move. Girls can't do a thing. Girls can't decide. Too hard to let go the secure feeling you have from the man who loves u, and too hard for you to let your won feeling go. Can I just enjoy both of them? Having him as my bodyguard and having the other him as the love of my life? YOU WISH!!!!! (Dunia udah kekurangan cowok pek... jek dipek dhewe ae... huh!!)

I cannot offer you my kind of solution. As a girl, I would be cactus (heh? Opo hubungan e be kaktus? Aku yo mboh se!) if I were in that kind of situation. Can’t imagine my self stuck in that kind of situation also (perumpamaannya ya kayak either you cut yourself with a knife If you let go the man you love or you take off your protection jacket during the bullet rain when you let go the man who loves you… Seng ke2 agak berlebihan ^^ tapi ya itulah….). When we are stuck in this kind of situation, we are facing both dying end. We die both ways. May be if we truly choose the man we love instead of the man who loves us, and we do everything to touch heaven and hell in order to make that man loves us back (感动天感动地), if we succeed, then walaaaaahhh…. Here comes the happy ending. But what if…… (Remember when I said I’ll make things more complicated?^^) what if we never succeed in luring that man attention to us? Will it be easy to find someone else? (Lebih mudahkah menyeberangi samudra yang asing untuk mencari seseorang yang baru daripada mempertahankan apa yang telah ada sebelumnya?) Kamu punya kue itu sekarang, tapi kamu naksir kue yang lain. Untuk mendapatkan kue itu, kamu harus membuang kue yang sekarang ada ditanganmu. Apakah kamu akan membuangnya? Apakah kamu yakin akan mendapatkan kue yang kamu inginkan setelah kamu membuang kue yang kamu punya? Bagaimana jika kamu tidak bisa mendapatkan kue yang kamu inginkan itu? Bukankah itu berarti kamu sudah kehilangan keduanya? Apakah akan mudah untuk mendapatkan kue yang baru? I don't think so baby.

Gimana ya enaknya?? How are we, the girls, supposed to deal with this? I am confused. Are you confused? So, let’s dizzy dizzy together! XD

They say love will find a way, yet they forget, it’s the LOVE that makes us lost

One insignificant notes for your simple digest…^^

Surabaya, 6 October 2009

Chia